Warning: Serial dating may contain multiple hazards to your health. Such symptoms may include, but are not limited to, breaking of ones' nose, profuse sweating, vulgarity during visiting hours, discovery of the missing link, and ascertainment of “inappropriate” photographs by prepubescents.
Now that I got the legalities out of the way, let me formally introduce myself. My name is Amie, and I am a serial dater. I'm not proud of it, but it's part of the program. You know, 12 steps? Admittance that we are powerless over our addictions. Yup. The first time I actually said it aloud, I cried from laughter. I mean, the thought of someone being addicted to dating? It's silly, right? Wrong! Think about all the emotions, elations and steps one usually goes through on each and every single date. I know, I know, more steps...
a. You begin to chat it up with some random guy in the local grocery store (or where ever you may find guys to your liking).
b. Exchanging of the numbers take place, both leaving giddy, gay and stupid.
c. Wait for the calling-grace-period to expire, even though neither person waits for the same amount of time. Men typically wait longer unless the woman is really drop-dead gorgeous.
d. Talking to each other to for hours on end until both parties agree on a time, date and place for the “official” date.
e. The day finally arrives, and each member spends hours pumping themselves up in front of the mirror or with friends, giving themselves a boost of self-confidence to make it through till the end of the date.
f. They meet, enjoy some drinks, share laughs and exchange a few innuendos until they choose one of three options.
1. Decide on meeting on another occasion to further their potentially budding relationship.
2. Mutually part ways due to the lack of interest on both sides.
3. Choose to have an intimate encounter of the third kind.
Once you have this down to an art, it's real easy to make a habit out of it, hence, the ADDICTION! However, once you have reached the point of serial dating addict, the glamor and appeal comes to an abrupt halt for your friends, family and loved ones. You don't know how many times I've heard “Amie, why haven't you found someone?”, “How do you go out on all these dates and NEVER find a real nice guy and settle down with?”, or my all time favorite “You know that if you don't find that someone by the time you are 30, that it might not happen at all, right?”. Once the questions start flying off the handle like this, it's really hard to hide the fact that you actually enjoy serial dating, so in order to cover it up, you start a random yet doomed to fail relationship just to make everyone happy and to stop being suspicious of your addiction. In conclusion, I haven't made it past the first step. Maybe I will on my next date... Stay tuned!
Amie
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